They say it takes less energy to be positive than negative. To work toward your dreams than not to.

You might be surprised, but I don’t agree with that.

Here’s my take on it.

I’ve had the opportunity to live very different lives in this one, current lifetime of mine. The young childhood life. The decades between that and now, which were spent depressed, sad, lost, following societal “norms”, just going through the motions. Yes there were good times in there. But I chose not to choose, most of the time. Which is actually, a choice. Hmmm.

I robotically self-medicated depression away with drugs, alcohol and destructive behaviors. I stayed in the familiar muck of a life that drug me around like a ragdoll sometimes, rather than rise up into a life I created. I didn’t know myself, I didn’t realize I was capable of, nor was allowed to be anything “better” because of decades of abusive programming (by others, and myself.)

Sounds bad, but it truly was EASIER for me to stay in the familiar and go through the motions. The notion of working toward anything other than what I had been taught? The idea of looking within, healing, and growing into a better me? *shudder* Heck no. That was for other people. Not me. Easier to stay in the muddy, yucky box than it was to climb out. Out was scary. No thanks. Too much work, too many unknowns, didn’t feel safe.

Then (as my longtime subscribers know) a little over 10 years ago I ended up sick, bedridden. Taken completely OUT of the norm, out of that comfort zone little muddy box I lived in. Talk about a shock. All the nice & tidy little rules I had been given all my life were suddenly null and void.

Fast forward to the last couple of years. I’ve really begun to challenge prior teachings and beliefs. Striving toward goals that I not only KNOW I can accomplish, but can FEEL with my whole being that they ARE being accomplished.

I can tell you. It’s HARDER. Less comfortable. More confusing. More exhausting. However. The benefits outweigh any and all discomfort. What are some of those benefits? Self-worth, a new horizon of possibilities, unlimited opportunities, growth, deeper joy, which also means deeper sadness sometimes but hey y’gotta take it ALL if you want one, y’know? All feelings are, are feelings. Feel them all. (watch last week’s interview if you haven’t yet; Jeff mentioned just taking a deep breath and saying “yeah”! THAT’S what you do with feelings 😉 )

I can also tell you, that the more I stretch my comfort zone, the more I keep on keeping on, the quieter the fear of the unknown gets. So I will venture to say, the more you work hard toward your goals and dreams, the easier it will be. Some time down the road, I bet it will finally feel more comfortable than that muddy box ever did.  You see, staying in a warm, muddy box with depression as my only companion WAS more comfortable because I knew what that was. But there were absolutely no benefits to it. Not even protection, like it once provided me with.

I can see that the future on this different path looks brighter, bigger, more fulfilling, and mud-free. 😉 I like that much better.


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