So… we’re all human… I am definitely not perfect. I’m a work in progress for sure. Sometimes I do or say things, that when I hear myself say them, I know I should stop but just don’t for some reason. This is rarely a good thing. Feelings get hurt. Amends must be made.
For me, it stems from all the “garbage” from the past that I’ve done extensive work on, that can still cause defensive reactions to rear their ugly heads due to decades of habitual “stuffing it”.
One of the people who has hurt me the most, is someone that I’m actually close to. A family member. After trying to communicate, to no avail, I’ve had to resort to healing myself, while having compassion for them and doing my best to forgive.
I’m not always on my A game.
Someone very influential once told me, in effect, if you’ve been a doormat for so long, your job is to just get it OUT! Don’t let any wrongdoings get inside you to fester. Deflect them, get them out, don’t let them get you! It’s a new practice for you, so if you’re a bitch for while, so be it. Tactfulness will come later.
Interesting, right?
I, in no way, shape or form condone being disrespectful or bitchy at any time. However I am still guilty of it, sometimes.
I’ve mentioned in past blog posts that I deflect negative energy like a dodge ball. I punch that sucker hard to get it away from me.
I guess I’m sharing this with you to let you know, that’s how taking your power back may be at first. But you’ll start to notice when this happens, more and more. Eventually you’ll recognize it BEFORE the growliness starts. Then, true communication, or walking away if the situation warrants that, can happen. Respectful communication is the goal. Soul to soul. Honoring each other is always the goal. We’re here for love, not the opposite.
While there is no excuse to live in aggression for the heck of it… learning to recognize it will help you turn it into healthy assertiveness. I’m better at that than ever. Which feels much better than being a doormat. <3 So if you’re just starting the journey of self-empowerment, or if you’ve been on it for a while now but have felt frustrated that you aren’t where you want to be already… be patient with yourself. Do the best you can in every given moment, forgive yourself when you slip into old habits, or get a bit too defensive. If you keep walking on this road, soon you’ll feel more and more at ease with honoring yourself and others. It’s important to note, that sometimes honoring yourself and others means distancing yourself from them. That is perfectly ok. Try to communicate, but if they aren’t in the place of allowing and listening, know when to back down in a loving, peaceful way. Remove yourself from any situation or person that’s toxic energy for you. Bless them and go on. Focus on the good energy, go where the love and support is. You’ll find comfort, safety, and security there. We’re here for love. We all deserve to be joyful. Let yourself!
I love your blogs! You inspire me, and you are so eloquent. Thank you!
Thank you so much! That means a lot to me! You are amazing, honey! You inspire me, as well! You are a fighter! A warrior! WOOT WOOT! HUGS!!!
I refuse to be a doormat thats why I am in my current situation. I was talking like an adult but the recipricator was acting like a child. Then the words came out —the straw that broke the camels back— “I don’t care if I hurt your feelings or not.” I got a little taste of what you have to endure on a daily basis and grieve fo r the both of us. Much love and immense respect for you porcchop. So proud of you and honored to be a part of your life.
No more doormats! Gotta stick up for yourself and stand in your truth. It makes such a big difference. I’m very sorry to know you have had to deal with such an uncomfortable and hurtful situation. I know that now you can move forward and focus on the love and support that IS in your life, and all the blessings that are yours to enjoy. You are beautiful and I’m so proud that you are my soul sister. I love you so very much and look forward to all the wonderful good things coming to us on this journey of life! Walking together is the BEST!!!! I’m honored to be a part of your life, too, and I am very proud of YOU! You are putting yourself on the top of your priority list, and you are SHINING!!!! Porcchop & Applesaws 4EVAHH!!!! <3
No doormat here! No more! I’ve been free of that behavior for just about a year now. It feels good.
You rawk!!!! It’s tough to do, but once you do it’s sooo freeing! WOOT WOOT! xoxo