This is my 5th attempt at a blog post today. You see, I try to make sure that I’m always sharing positive, uplifting energy with the world. I am such a good “cheerleader” for everyone… but I still need to learn how to be that for myself.
Lately I’ve been feeling “off”, discouraged, and out of sorts. Feeling lost and frustrated.
I try so hard to appear so light and free… but sometimes I’m just not. Like today. Maybe this is why the other blog posts I’ve written today just didn’t feel right. I was trying to show something that is not true for me today.
Something I’m happy to say I do, is that I walk my talk and I stand in my truth. This wasn’t always the case. Being bedridden, dealing with a health issue for a decade, and other personal circumstances have really caused me to retreat, reflect, and refocus. This blog, and my desire to help others, is a gift from all the darkness. A blessing, a silver lining in the dark cloud. If I can help others to skip some of the drama and heartache I’ve endured, then it is all worth it.
Am I usually upbeat? Yes. However, in my learning of lessons, I’ve also been less than sweet. Learning how to stop being a doormat, means that I sometimes transform into a brick wall. Other times, it’s a dodge ball game, where negativity is the ball, and I rush to hit that sucker as hard as I can so it goes right back where it came from. So that means I’m not the most tactful all the time. Sometimes I get angry, sometimes I get sad, but I don’t apologize for any of that. I DO apologize if I ever hurt someone, I don’t ever mean to do that. I love everyone, we are all beautiful spirits. But for a girl that was a doormat for so long, the victim of abuse for so long, I refuse to be anything but victorious and free.
To be honest, prior to being stricken with vertigo 10 years ago, I didn’t behave in the best of ways, either. Protection mechanisms take on many forms. Elaboration on a lot of this may be in my upcoming book.
While things in my life are still transitioning… I’m blessed to be called to use my experiences for GOOD. To help others, to encourage others, to uplift others.
I am to myself, now, what I always wish I had, growing up. I strive to be that for others, too. <3 Love and encouragement goes a long way. Honesty and respect are the foundation of everything. Coming from a personal world with little of that, rebuilding yourself is difficult. But it CAN be done. I’m doing it. I’m happy to help you do the same. There is power in standing in your truth. There is value to giving yourself permission to take a breather to reflect. There’s victory in marching forward. I’m here to hold your hand on this journey. Thank you for holding mine. Big hugs to you all. And please, if you feel comfortable doing so, leave a comment below about how you are taking charge of yourself and your life. We all deserve free, happy, blissful days!