Something I want to talk about today is “information gathering”. I love that phrase and find myself using it often when I’m helping others. Someone fabulous used it during a conversation with me, and it’s stuck like glue!
Took me some time to be able to see some of the drama in life as information gathering, rather than permission to get all wrapped up in emotion over whatever was going on.
Some people thrive on drama. They just can’t take it unless there’s something to complain about, gossip about, whine about, or someone to gang up on. It’s really annoying and super exhausting to deal with. Especially if you allow yourself to engage in it, because then it becomes a pit of quicksand that grabs you fast and has you choking for air in no time flat.
Growing up, even into adulthood, it felt like if I wasn’t in it with everyone I wasn’t part of everyone. I guess? I don’t like that it felt like that to me, but it did. It was just part of the day to day norm that I was taught by example. I didn’t realize for years that there was a better, healthier, more loving way to go through life.
My friend’s words are so wise. Information gathering. See… when someone reaches for you from the quicksand, begging you to dive in with them… it’s just information gathering; for you. Now you can see what they thrive on, and seem to really like. You can make a choice. Rather than get sucked in, feel guilty, or get angry or upset, you can simply decline. With the information you now have, you can of course love that person and send blessings their way, but you don’t have to participate in the sticky mess.
Now, I’m going to turn that around for a second. There is another phrase I see a lot: “Be careful who you vent to”. So true. Maybe you’re the person being viewed as the quicksand enthusiast. When really all you’re doing is venting. You have no intention of hurting anyone at all, nor do you particularly enjoy quicksand, it’s gross. However, trusting everyone to be a good listener and confidante, just isn’t smart. See, sometimes, THOSE people are the quicksand enthusiasts. They barely leave your private conversation, your private concerns, and immediately run to the next quicksand enthusiast to spread embellished stories about something you just needed to get off your chest.
One more thing. The perpetual venter. Sometimes they get so comfortable in the mess, that venting’s just a recharge. Nothing gets done about the situation. So there they sit. In quicksand. Don’t even realize it. People around them get tired of that. Eventually, they get left behind to sit there alone. They aren’t quicksand enthusiasts. They’re either just too comfortable there, too lazy there, or too stubborn to see the tree branch half an arm’s reach above to grab onto for freedom.
Information gathering. Now it’s known that some of the people around may not be totally trustworthy.
Another phrase: “You can count your true friends on one hand”. Personally, I’d like to believe that I can count mine on two hands and two feet (; But honestly, the soul circle of trustworthiness can be kinda small. Y’know what I mean?
Take the information you’ve gathered, and focus on the true friends. By all means continue relationships with everyone else if those friendships bring you joy. Just be careful when you’re speaking about your innermost feelings, heart’s desires, or venting about that boss that got on your nerves. Repeatedly. Lol
One way to a blissful life is to consider yourself your best friend. Trust yourself first. Have a couple or a few genuine folks that you confide in. Take the expectation out of everything and everyone else. It’ll make life soo much easier, lighter, and freer.
Quicksand free is the way to be! WOOT! We only have time for the goodness of positive energy. Nurture and create more of that. <3