Someone I love profoundly has lost a treasured person from their life.
This person I love, is my most amazing “heart-person,” as my cousin so lovingly stated today. MY go-to person, MY comfort person, MY clarity person.
For a while today I’ve been feeling at a loss, stunned. Helpless. Like, what can I ever do to comfort this A #1 person that makes such a colossal difference in my life?
What can any of us do when someone we cherish is going thru grief and loss?
Words just don’t work. They don’t really help and are basically just clutter all around an already overwhelmed person. Emotions are on overdrive. Too much clutter just doesn’t ease anything. I mean, the sentiments are appreciated, for sure. But, what really helps?
LOVE. Expressing love is the utmost. Live far away? Send a card. Call. Say how you feel, how much you love and care for them. Offer to be there for whatever they need. Live close by? HUG. Sit in silence, be that shoulder to cry on or cry with. Bring meals over, offer to clean the house, run errands. Be there in whatever capacity that you can. ALL of it helps.
TIME. Be there continuously as time goes on. Seems like when a few months go by, the visits, calls, offers for help diminish. All the people go home and back to their lives. Keep checking in, keep being present, keep offering to do chores. Take them out for dinner or make something to bring over from time to time.
Grief has no time limit. Everyone deals with things differently.
What I know for sure, is LOVE and PRESENCE are the most comforting. Both of which can be done without speaking a single word. So maybe SILENT COMPANIONSHIP should be #3 on this list.
Now. Having typed this out… I’m taking my own advice. Love is healing. I’m the mushball to do it. <3