Lately it’s been feeling like I’m trapped in a box while people are sitting on it and squishing it. Ever feel like that? So much going on, it’s like, STAAAAAAAHHHP!!!! Stop the world for a sec so I can regroup and catch up with life.
It’s at times like this where ALL the feelings whirl around. Ever notice that? One minute frustration, the next minute sadness, the next minute gratitude for blessings, then feeling all full of love for everything and everyone, then on to depletion and hopelessness.
People like me want to do something, anything, to escape all that. So much “feeling” is exhausting. I’m grateful to be over 11 years clean, so old habits in that regard are not an option. So what do I do? Cram as much junk food and sugar in my mouth as possible. Same behavior. Different “substance”. :/
Here’s the problem with that. Any form of “escape” or “numbing” doesn’t stop what’s happening in life. In fact, it may prolong it or contribute to the feeling of unmanageability. Making things feel much worse once the short-lived sugar rush (or other high) is gone, leaving behind fatigue and an overall feeling of “yuck” and disappointment.
If you feel like you’re at the bottom of a hole, or trapped in a box, there IS good news. The only way to go now is UP, or… OUT. Giving in isn’t an option. Plus, why would you want to stay at the bottom of a dark hole… or stuck in a box? Eww.
I hear you saying “yeah, easy for YOU to say”. I get it. At such a fragile state of despair or hopelessness, and/or total inner cup depletion, how in the heck do you do anything but sit there in the muck and cry?
Here’s what to do.
1) Say NO. To everyone and everything if you must. Just so you can stop and breathe.
2) Get back to the basics. And I do mean basics. Eat 3 meals. Drink 8 glasses of water. Get proper rest. If that’s all you can do today, you have won.
3) Take the mountain of stressors & make it easier to handle. Take each thing and separate them from the mountain. What’s that saying? How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Do that. If you can’t picture it all in your mind, write each thing on its own piece of paper. Lay them out in front of you. Then, prioritize them. For example. In my case lately, the quality of life for my kitty who is in advanced kidney failure is top priority. MY health needs to be top priority, too. I’ve let that slip. Ok, so those are tied. The rest of it isn’t so urgent, y’know? Finances, car issues, errands, social activities, etc etc. Set the important, but lower priority things aside today. You can pick those up again tomorrow and re-prioritize if necessary. But for now, just focus on the top two. What can be done today for THOSE two things? Write it down on the corresponding paper. There’s your focus.
4) Accept help. If you’re stubborn like me, you won’t ask for help or even tell anyone you need help. But I think, like me, you will also receive offers from others to help you. LET THEM.
5) Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing the very best you can. No one can ask for more than that. Not even YOU. Do not feel guilty for doing what is most important for you right now. Guess what, other people do it all the time.
Like I said last week, my blog posts will be getting more real and more deep. More personal. I’m being guided this way, so I can hopefully help as many people as possible to find inner healing, inner happiness, and self-love. We all deserve it. If by me being open this way I can help many, it’s worth the discomfort and exposure.
BIG hugs. Breathe. Remember YOU deserve your love just as much as anyone else does. <3
I’m depleted and defeated. Stuck in a toxic mess. Trapped. No escape for 2 more weeks. They don’t care about my tumble down the stairs or physical pain. Only their needs and what happens if I leave early. No words can describe how much pain they cause me. Not caring.
Sooo sad to read that, my soul sister… I will send you a private message. Just know you are LOVED, you MATTER, and better times are coming your way. I love you!
Thank you for sharing this! This really hits home for me right now. I have been couch bound for the last month due to foot surgery and I have never had this much down time… like ever. Sooo, I have had way too much time to sit with myself to think and feel about all the tough life things (mostly family dynamics). Talk about feeling ALL the feels. Yikes! I am also a recovering addict who uses food to
feel good. I have found a shift in myself lately… I finally got out of the house to a meeting yesterday and even though I was surrounded by my fellow recovering addicts (most of them being good friends) I felt like my nerves were so raw and I even felt a little scared and anxious about being outside my house. This is a totally foreign feeling for me. Your suggestions are right on time for me…I was feeling guilty about saying NO to certain things lately and I needed to be reminded of asking for help. I do deserve my love and I need to be in this moment and really take advantage of this down time because I will be back at work before I know it spinning my wheels in life again. So, thank you for the reminders. I wish you and your readers a peaceful week. <3
WOW I totally typed a book in response and hit a wrong key & got kicked out while it deleted my response. GRRR! Welp, there it is. Life happening. lol … Thank you SO much for your amazingly open comment here! I appreciate it so very much. I hear you. So much down time sounds great until we actually HAVE so much down time! Yikes. One thing I tell coaching clients is that quiet time is good. It brings up stuff for us to work on, reflect on, heal. Feeling feelings IS healthy and good. Sometimes though, it’s so hard to feel them and not just sit in them. I’ve been guilty of that so much. I’m sooo happy that you got out of the house and allowed yourself to feel anxiety about it WHILE being out and about. I’m sure it really felt good after. YAY YOU! I’m so thankful that I can help in any small way. We always forget that saying no is allowed. We don’t have to feel guilty. We can ask for and accept help. And most of all, we can love ourselves and care for ourselves just as much as we do for others. MORE in fact! I hope you get to relax, and heal up, and enjoy the time, reflection, and healing. You so deserve to feel blissful and free! <3 Big hugs!
What a great blog. Thank you. I think a lot of people will be able to relate to it…. Including myself. 😀
Thank you very much. I really hope that I can help others in any small or huge way with this platform. 🙂
Things are wearing thin at home. I needed to hear this today. Just when I needed it.
Oh no! It must be the moon or the planets or something… it’s like, in the air! I hope things get better for you FAST! I’m glad my post could help a little. Love you! <3
Such great advice! I might add that one can also say NO! to many of our stressors. Learned about that in a long-term personal growth program many years ago and I still try to adhere to it. You may have to make a list of the stressors in your life and then really scrutinize it, but you will see that there are many that you do not have to have in your life. So tell em NO!
Thank you so much! Ooooh! That is EXCELLENT advice! I’d say that’s next level assertiveness! Wow!