It’s been 4 months since I’ve posted anything here. Life’s ups and downs, fears, etc. I also wanted to wait until I had something significant to share. Today, I do.
For the last four months I’ve allowed myself to be fearful of what others think, fearful that what I share isn’t “enough.” Against all I teach, right? I know.
Something I heard today has sparked that flame in me again. The one that wants to help others who may be in the depths of despair, or know someone who is. Heck, even NOT know someone who is.
I can’t be afraid to share anymore. Too much precious life is at stake. Too much LIVING is to be done.
Today, I heard of yet another, beautiful young soul lost to suicide. Heartbreaking! The loss to the world is tremendous whenever another beautiful light gets extinguished too soon. It’s too devastating, too rampant NOT to share my thoughts and love.
The message I’m called to share today is this. Being pushed too hard to be great, AS WELL AS being knocked down so far and told you are unworthy, are EQUALLY AS DESTRUCTIVE.
On the one hand, parents may think pushing their child to perfection is helpful. Ok, in some ways, it is. But if that same child is not given permission to fall short sometimes, to have a bad day, to have interests that may differ from their parents… the pressure can get to be too much. They may ACT happy and perfect on the outside. It may LOOK as if their life is charmed and beautiful. No one on the outside, not even the parents, will see their inner struggle. Depression and anxiety are killers! Silent in some cases, and unseen by the naked eye. These kids will sometimes hide their darkness for fear of losing their parent, coach, and/or peers’ approval. The danger of this is falling in to that depression vortex too far. It’s a dark, deep hole, that when fallen into, takes you into its depths like a cold quicksand. Before you know it, you’re at the bottom. Unable to see any hands outstretched for you IF, they in fact, ARE outstretched.
See, for someone in the “perfection expected” situation, there may not be any outstretched hands because the suffering is undetected. See the danger here?
The opposite end of the spectrum, is parents that put their children down all the time. They expect them to fail, tell them they are unworthy, stupid, or a myriad of other hurtful things. In my experience, I was told those things and more. As an adult, I was told by my mother (may she rest in peace, and yes, I have forgiven her and I love her tremendously) that she thought she and my father were motivating me by doing that. Once I explained to her the depression I suffered, and all that came with it, she finally realized the insults were not motivating at all. By then, I was a broken adult. I’m still healing. Some people NEVER get the chance to heal because that same vortex of darkness sucks them in, as well.
Either case causes so much hurt and pain.
I get that we are all humans, humans make mistakes. But we are also spirits in these human bodies. It’s our mission in life to nurture each other, especially children.
Teach manners and all those wonderful things, yes. But remember that each spirit is individual. What your idea of perfection or unworthiness is, may not be the same for that spirit.
The best thing to do is LOVE. Encourage. Support. Guide. Give permission to make some mistakes, and have it be ok. Let your children know it’s ok to communicate, that they can safely communicate with you without the weight of expectation (or no expectation).
Depression is a killer. Low self-worth is a killer. It’s hard enough in this world sometimes without the added pressure.
PLEASE let’s get the word out to as many as we can. First and foremost that it’s OK TO SPEAK UP. If you’re hurting so deeply that suicide seems the only option, PLEASE reach out. Keep reaching out until someone listens!!! ALL OF US are beautiful spirits, here for a unique reason. OUR LIVES make a difference. WE make a difference. WE MATTER. All of us matter. There IS life after that dark vortex. How do I know that? Because I was rescued from it. I consciously choose to LIVE every day since that rescue. If I can do this, we all can do this!
If no one has told you today, this week, this month… YOU are beautiful. YOU matter. Because of you this world is a much better place. Only you have the gifts within you and the world is so ready to experience those. Share them! You are loved <3
Here is a link to my story if you’d like to read it:
And here are a couple of important sites and a phone number:
Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255